When my oldest daughter Veronica was in kindergarten she would take the bus home from school. I would push a double stroller carrying her three-year-old sister and newborn baby brother on a four block walk to the bus stop and back each morning and mid-day. One day at noon as I pushed the stroller on our way to pick up my daughter after school I tripped and almost fell. As I looked back I saw that one piece of sidewalk was significantly higher than the adjacent one. It looked like tree roots had lifted that piece dangerously higher than the other. After we picked up my kindergartener we headed back on that same sidewalk. As we approached the uneven sidewalk I paused and advised Veronica about it. I let her know that I had almost fallen after tripping on it. “Let’s be careful each day as we approach this tree and step carefully so that we don’t fall.” She listened and was in agreement.
On occasion I have heard parents tell me that they feel that they cannot warn their children about certain dangerous or otherwise unhealthy behaviors because they themselves, when younger, participated in them. Many of them have regrets because of decisions that they made. Some have told me that they feel hypocritical advising their child against doing something that they themselves did.
If I had tripped and fallen on the uneven sidewalk, should I have felt it was hypocritical for me to warn Veronica about the uneven sidewalk? Of course not. I might even share with her the pain I felt due to my fall. While I can’t force my child to be aware of an even sidewalk or of a rather risky or dangerous behavior, I do feel it’s my duty to lovingly and clearly advise them about things that I think are dangerous or unwise for them to participate in.
We can teach others to learn from our mistakes, whether intentional and unintentional.